The FATHERHOOD Journey – to boldly go where no man has gone before.
I enjoyed preaching on Fathers’ Day. The enjoyment wasn’t just primarily that I am sharing about something I am passionate about, but seeing my twenty-year old son sharing his testimony (click on this link to hear him) about his relationship with me. There is no greater joy as a father than seeing him on stage sharing about the fruits of my relationship with him over the last twenty years. Hearing him said that I am his hero, friend and teacher was a proud moment for me. In fact from the way he “preached” through his three-point mini “sermon” with such confidence and in the way he engaged the congregation, I am quite sure some day, he will be a better preacher than me! And the funny thing about being a father is this: We will never be envious when our children do better than us. In fact, we rejoice when that happens. If we understand this principle, then we will begin to see the multiplying effect of our lives through our children.
It seems so long ago but I still remember that awesome but fearful experience of seeing him coming out of mum’s womb into this world. It dawned on me then that my life from that moment on will be changed forever. I am now entrusted with someone whom I have no idea how or what he will turn out to be in this challenging world. While we may be confident about taking on a new assignment at our workplace because we are adequately trained over time, fathering is something else. I had wished I was more prepared but being entrusted now with this tiny baby in my hand, I am reminded of Captain Kirk of starship Enterprise: “Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”
The toughest thing about being dad is this. We will not know how we fare in our role until years later when they are on their own. Often we are more concern about our children’s behavior in their growing years and our interventions are reactive. Pro-active parenting is not the norm for many. We focus on what’s urgent rather than important. Urgent matters require our immediate attention but important matters are often relegated to another time, which is often unavailable anyway, or forgotten. Our ultimate goal in parenting is not whether our children will behave themselves when we are looking. It is when they know how to live rightly and making wise decisions when we are not looking. It's inculcating a godly fear of God in their lives and through that, they will have godly wisdom in life to make all of life's decision. (Psalm 111:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding.)
We often prepare our children well with “mind training”. The higher the IQ, the better they will be. The endless pursuit of academic trainings misses the point about heart and spiritual development. These are priceless preparation that comes only through much personal contact, coaching and attention from us fathers. Often we put high price tags on low price items and the consequences of that mistake will reveal itself in the later years. Many adults I had counseled reveal the pains of bad decisions. I wished they had certain basic biblical principles to work with and someone they could seek counsel from before they made those decisions. Fathers, we play a crucial role in the life of our children. Fathers build confidence, prepare children for the real world and provide a look at the world of men. Our children are thirsting for our words, echoing the words of our Heavenly Father to His Son Jesus: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." (Mark 1:11)
In the formative pre-adolescent years, mum’s input is vital. Dad’s most important influence is at adolescence. Before the industrial revolution of the 18th century, fathers passed on their trade skills to their sons, and thus led the adolescent son into manhood through apprenticeship. Adolescent daughters are starved of their fathers’ affirmation that their princesses are beautiful and loved. Her choice of future partner and satisfaction in marriage are hinged on her relationship she had with her father.
Using the metaphor of an arrow in the hands of a warrior, the Psalmist described in Psalm 127 that children are blessings to keep our legacy going for the family, city and nation. They are arrows to be released and let’s pray they will hit their marks accurately. The family preserves the best of the past and invests this legacy for the future. Every baby born is God's affirmative vote for the future of man and our opportunity to initiate some new beginnings.
We have just launched our Fathers Club! (dumcfathersclub.blogspot.com). It’s a journey we need not walk alone. We have many who have boldly gone before us.
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