Father Wound and Mother Wound

Last Saturday's Fathers Club Video Session on "The Overly Bonded with Mother Wound" was powerful indeed. For the first time, our men are discovering how our mothers affect us, even until today. The previous session was on "Facing the Father Wound", and one man testified how he wept through the session and moved on after that not only to be a better father to his children, but he decided to make a day trip back to his hometown to reconcile with his father. He has decided since then to make a monthly trip back to see his dad. 

A story like this makes the efforts all worthwhile! Father Wound are caused by their absenteeism. Mother Wound by their overly protective love and care. All the husbands at the end of the session agreed this is one video their wives must watch :)

Ministry is exciting! It is about transformed life!

Six Habits of Spiritually Happy Men

Six Habits of Spiritually Happy Men

Written by Patrick Morley (Man in the Mirror)

 

I’ve been meeting with men for over three decades. Many of those men exude a contagious joy and contentment. Their lives are peaceable, orderly, and recommend Christ. They’re downright happy! Most of these happy men exercise six spiritual habits that keep them “abiding in Christ.” The dictionary says a habit is, “an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.” These six habits are not litmus tests that you can use to judge a man’s walk with Christ. That would be extremely dangerous. These habits do nothing to improve a man’s record with Jesus. They are, however, indicators or “clues” of a deeper commitment to live by faith and make a difference in the world. These aren’t the only six habits that reveal the depth of a man’s walk with Christ. Nevertheless, those of us who are leaders would do well to practice, and encourage our men to practice, these six habits. The change of heart these often represent can change the course of a man’s life and family lineage for generations to come. Habit #1:Spiritually happy men read the Bible regularly. They love God’s word, and want to regularly read and meditate on the Bible. I’ve never known a single man whose life has changed in any significant way apart from the regular study of God’s Word. IDEA:Why not read through the Bible over the next year! Buy a One Year Bible or use the One Year Bible reading plan with your existing Bible. Go to www.oneyearbibleonline.com. Habit #2:Spiritually happy men pray with their wives. Praying with your wife symbolizes a depth of relationship with God and each other. Shaun from Bozeman, Montana asked his men’s group, “How many of you pray with your wives?” Only one of the eight men answered, “Yes.” For the last year they have been holding each other accountable. Here’s what Shaun has to say…. The benefits when we are obedient in this area are amazing. Here are some comments from the men when they pray with their wives on a consistent basis: I feel a closeness to my wife that wasn't there before Communication between us is better The petty things are just not a big deal anymore And I'll tell you this, it's pretty hard to be upset with your wife or to be arguing and still come before God with a clean heart. It forces us to communicate and humble ourselves before each other before we do something as intimate as praying together. It just permeates thru the rest of your family, and day. IDEA:Ask your wife if you can take two or three minutes each day, maybe before work, for (a) praising and thanking God, (b) intervention, and (c) intercession. Habit #3:Spiritually happy men are in a small group. Consultant Pat MacMillan surveyed over 2,500 Promise Keepers who had kept their promises. He asked them, "Who helped you keep them?" The two overwhelming answers given were, "My wife" and "My church-based small group." Focus on getting men into small groups. Spiritually happy men are personally vulnerable and seek to be held accountable by other men. This group might be with a few men, or only one other man. It might meet for Bible study, discussion, fellowship, prayer, accountability, or a combination. IDEAS:Get together a weekly group of six to eight men, watch the Man in the Mirror Bible Study webcasts and discuss the printable questions. Also, order some free Accountability cards and help keep each other on track by calling Man in the Mirror at (800) 929-2536 (800) 929-2536 Habit #4:Spiritually happy men are active in a church. 1.     Who is going to visit you in the hospital when you’re sick? 2.     Who is going to baptize your children? 3.     Who is going to teach your children about the Bible? 4.     Who is going to marry your children? 5.     Who is going to bury your dead? 6.     Who is going to serve you communion? 7.     Who is going to preach God’s Word to you? 8.     Who is going to create a regular worship experience for you? 9.     Who is going to faithfully administrate your tithes and offerings? 10.  Who is going to give you opportunities to serve the church body? I’ll stop at 10 and skip evangelism training, Sunday school, softball leagues, parent/child events, conferences, retreats, mission trips, fellowship dinners, and the countless church sponsored hospitals, schools, universities, soup kitchens, homeless shelters, pregnancy counseling centers, and jail ministries. You get the idea. Active church involvement is the overflow of a deeper work that Christ is doing in a man’s heart. “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25). IDEAS: If you are not in a church, find one. If you are not active in your church, set an appointment with your pastor and say, “Give me an assignment…I’m ready.” He will know what to do next. Habit #5:Spiritually happy men tithe. Generosity is a highly underrated source of happiness. I’ve never known a man who tithed who was not happy. On the other hand, I’ve known a lot of guys who have not tithed and were miserable. Someone may argue that tithing is not New Testament. I agree that the New Testament concept is proportionate giving: “On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income” (1 Corinthians 16:2). But wait! The Old Testament also says give in proportion: “Each of you must bring a gift in proportion to the way the LORD your God has blessed you” (Deuteronomy 16:17). Both Old and New Testament suggest proportionate giving! So what is the “benchmark” for proportionate giving? What does the New Testament say? In Matthew 23:23 Jesus said, “For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest part of your income, but you ignore the important things of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but you should not leave undone the more important things.” Tithing is our benchmark and, by the way, it’s the minimum—but I wouldn’t push that too far. IDEAS: Give in proportion to what you make. Establish a benchmark. Let ten percent be the minimum. Optional: Consider a setting a maximum income above which you give everything else away. Habit #6:Spiritually happy men are serving the Lord. Personally, I would rather die for a worthy cause than live for no reason. And I think most men feel the same way. Once a man has been in the real presence of Jesus, he will never be happy until he finds a way to express his gratitude through love and good deeds. Brother Lawrence put it this way, “I tell you that this sweet and loving gaze of God insensibly kindles a divine fire in the soul which is set ablaze so ardently with the love of God that one is obliged to perform exterior acts to moderate it.” Do you have a passion that your life will make a difference in the world? Are you pursuing a life of significance? View everything as serving the Lord. IDEAS: Start a men’s small group or, better yet, a men’s ministry in your church. Arrange a Saturday morning tour of a local ministry that serves the poor. Plan a mission trip for your men. Conduct a class that trains men how to lead men to Christ. Conclusion Remember, we’re trying to practice Christianity, not voodoo. We simply cannot make a requirement out of anything the Bible does not specifically command or prohibit. So these six habits are recommendations, not commandments. It’s fine for us to have a strong personal conviction about one or more of these habits, just don’t make it a litmus test for someone else (see Romans 14:5, 10).

Special Tribute to Mothers

This was written and read out by Kao Chee Ming during celebrations on Mother's Day.

Our  Amazing Isteri’s                                                  

Mother’s Day 8/5/2011

Women, women, women… Oh.... they're such wonderful mystery

She‟s our granny, mommy or isteri,  Oh,... what an amazing trinity.

===èThank God for creating one for each man, and one for me.

( About chores at home )

When I arise from bed, she'd have fed and sent my son to school and done the laundry. When I return home & lay on the bed, she's in the kitchen preparing for the next day.

===è What  amazing tenacity !

Between my rising and laying down my head on the bed,

You‟d have gone to the market, Carrefour, cooked, chauffered him to tuition & school, And yet some hubbies…. think wife-y‟s do nothing, so easy & lazy.

I have one office job, but you have so many.  And you face more school traffic jams &

driven further, than me to my office. ===è What  amazing capabilities !

( Amazing Trinity / Multi-tasking )

My son's mommy, my isteri and companion bini..

My son's tutor, my home-maker and „producer‟ of my baby

My cleaner, my launderer and my tukang masak nasi.

More wonderful than 3-in-one instant coffee… ===è What  an amazing  trinity !.

( She & our Food / Meals )

When you go cuti or to women's camp

We hubbies struggle how to cook the chicken, the beef and the lamb Then the vegie vegie vegie, …cabbage with hae bee, ….kai lan with cili, Then masak nasi lagi, ………..if not just simply ….. Maggi mee

If like this tiap tiap hari,..………I “chai see”, if not, …I go crazy

===è  So I thank God for you, my wife-y, how you conjure so many dishes magically,

===è For your  uncanny ability.. To think, to beli, masak and cuci

( She & her recreation time )

"Loi Yan, loi yan, loi yan …… Lei hai tuck keh" ( Cantonese song )

Nowadays you have washing machine, m/waves + Astro TV… but still busy, busy, busy

“Astro Wah Lai Toi” – now sounds more like … “Wah Lau, you also toil”. By the time you switch on the TV … We ask „why you so free‟ ! ?

Better go make some coffee...===è Now, we want to say so sorry... J

( Exaltation )

So you men, appreciate the woman next to you,... if she's your wife-y. You women, tell him not to worry.... if he's been a good hubby

I salute you and thank God for creating women,.. One for each men, and one for me.

Women, women, women / Loi yan, loi yan, loi yan / Mommy, isteri and bini

===è You are a “moh tak ting” mystery,  we hubbies salute thee

--- end . J . kao ---