DUMC Fathers Club

1st Fathers Club Meeting for 2012

2012-01-29T01:21:00.000+08:00

I have uploaded the powerpoint files on visioning.

It was a great meeting as I encouraged those present to be more proactive and deliberate about our new year by working on our Life Growth Plan. Click on the link below for the documents.

Fathers Club Brochure

2012 Plan

Life Growth Plan (LGP) Booklet

Broad Overview of LGP and my vision/mission

Go here if you want some samples of vision statements done in a Young Adult Camp. This will give you some idea how to craft your vision.

2012 First Meeting

2012-01-03T08:37:00.002+08:00

Yes, we are on in 2012!
First meeting will be held on 28 January 2012, Hall 2.
As usual, light breakfast served at 8.15 am.
Meeting time: 8:30 - 11:30 am.
Invite your friends and CG members.

Men's Breakthrough Weekend

2011-11-01T18:24:00.000+08:00

This is the group of brave men who would be willing to be on the quest for authentic manhood. I am compiling some fantastic breakthrough stories that happened over the weekend. What a powerful weekend! There were much laughter and tears! Who said men cannot open easily and cry courageously?

One man shared with me that when he woke up the next morning on Monday after the weekend, he actually felt that he wished there was another day together with his brothers in Christ! There was tremendous bonding and authenticity on the word "go" on Friday 2:30 pm. New friendships were made and mentor-mentoree relationships were formed.

See you in the next Fathers Club meeting on 26 Nov, Sat, 8:30am to hear more from these brave men!

Men's Breakthrough Weekend

2011-09-29T08:57:00.004+08:00

Online Registration Form

TOTAL REGISTERED: 55

Three Cheers for Mentors

2011-07-26T22:06:00.002+08:00

FATHERS CLUB Meeting

1 Oct 2011 (Sat)

Hall 3, Dream Centre

Time: 8:30 - 11:30 am

Simple Breakfast: 8:15 am

Open to all men, fathers and singles. No registration needed.

Monthly Video Series on "The Quest for Authentic Manhood"

Don't forget to come with a testimony.

This Saturday's Video Topic:

Three Cheers for Mentors!

The awesome, empowering impact of an "older" man
Exploring this rich concept called "Mentoring"
The Bible is filled with mentors and mentoring
Ten marks of a good mentor
The impact of mentoring
What to do if you want to be a mentor
What to do if you need, but lack, a mentor

Men’s Breakthrough Weekend (Fathers Club)

(A Powerful Weekend Encounter just for men away from the hectic city life!)

Date: 21-23 October 2011 (Friday – Sunday)

Venue: Grand Kampar Hotel

Cost: RM 270

To indicate your interest: (Click here)

2011-06-21T14:56:00.001+08:00

Four Fathers & an A-“man”
Dedicated to my Father & all menKao chee ming…. June 2011

Men men men, lelaki-lelaki, Father. ./ papa,..daddy,..dan suami yang di hormati.

You too, are amazing …. yet also complicating !

To small kids, … you're a super hero, a macho man ! !,

To young ladies,.. everything you also can,

But once married,. your ego … wives cannot stand ! You’re also hard to understand.

That’s d’reason, each time by creation, you can only do only one thing,..but women,multi tasking.

So you let them do every other thing, … how complementing him, …he he he ! ( pun intended )

My Papa is caring and lovable

In the 60’s, papa cycles 5 miles with my sister and I on a bicycle,

Across to other side of Klang town, to the only playground.

We’d play & laugh as we clown around.

Yes, Papa… I do remember you cycled that far.

My Dad is a teacher, respectable & wonderful.

In the 70’s, after school, dad”ll take me on buses to KL's only swimming pool.

Tho’ only 2 hours at The Weld pool, we’ll have endless fun, splashing under the sun !

And we’ll end with sluuurping soup after a plate of saucy chee cheong fun.

Yes, Dad… I do remember that.

My Father is magnanimous + self sacrificing.

When inflation hit in ‘74, ‘Kung Foo chow’ and ‘Hokkien mee’ at $1 was no more.

Supper was infrequently less, ….but father will eat not, so that we can have the rest.

You"ll hide yourself in the room. But now, I know in your heart, there’s a magnanimous room!

Yes, Father… those suppers, I do remember.

But now with the time left, you're half deaf,… I (have to) shout at you (tears) … I confess.

Now you are wrinkled & untidy………………… I will soon too, be freckled & clumsy.

Now you are im-punctual and slow, …………. and my impatience grows & shows..

“ Where is my son that I loved ?” , …..…. Silently, (tears again)………..… you must wonder

The little boy on my bicycle,

The happy son splashing fun in the sun, reaching for my cuddle

The hungry teenager, to whom I sacrificed all my supper.

So in Papa’s existence,. ..”God, our Father, help me exercise patience and tolerance”,

Pa, we’ll speak more, tho’ in quiet silence …..and spent time with you in your quiet presence.

Now I know, why old folks are quietly silent…You’re watching us display our intelligence & ignorance.

Whilst you are forgetful, I forget my son is watching & need to be mindful. God, our Father is too.

How will my son treat me ? Will he model after his daddy ?

I thank God for you, my son. You’re so young but Godly already.

I thank God when you said … no need supper, not hungry, save the money.

I thank God when you said … no need a semi-D. A terrace please, it’s just us 3.

You grew up without a PS2, i.pod or i.pad …and yet you still say “I love you Dad”.

When we holiday at the best, you yearned to return home, to our very own nest.

Son, assuredly I can rest. You"ll be a greater Father I know, better than your Dad.

And when I’m old and all alone ……… & you put me in a nursing home,

I’m aware, is because that you care ... not abandoned, not forgotten in despair.

Men men men, father papa, hubby dan suami yang di hormati.

So invest God the Father in your family. Love your own mommy & daddy, kalau masih ada lagi.

For in the end, you see, that's how our children will model after you and me.

For when Fathers invest God in the family, then the following promise will come to being…

Verse 6 of Psalms chapter 23 “..Surely Goodness and Mercy shall follow me”.

A-“Man” ! ( pun intended )

Father Wound and Mother Wound

2011-05-30T19:12:00.002+08:00

Last Saturday's Fathers Club Video Session on "The Overly Bonded with Mother Wound" was powerful indeed. For the first time, our men are discovering how our mothers affect us, even until today. The previous session was on "Facing the Father Wound", and one man testified how he wept through the session and moved on after that not only to be a better father to his children, but he decided to make a day trip back to his hometown to reconcile with his father. He has decided since then to make a monthly trip back to see his dad.

A story like this makes the efforts all worthwhile! Father Wound are caused by their absenteeism. Mother Wound by their overly protective love and care. All the husbands at the end of the session agreed this is one video their wives must watch :)

Ministry is exciting! It is about transformed life!

Six Habits of Spiritually Happy Men

2011-05-27T19:43:00.002+08:00

Six Habits of Spiritually Happy Men

Written by Patrick Morley (Man in the Mirror)

I’ve been meeting with men for over three decades. Many of those men exude a contagious joy and contentment. Their lives are peaceable, orderly, and recommend Christ. They’re downright happy!

Most of these happy men exercise six spiritual habits that keep them “abiding in Christ.” The dictionary says a habit is, “an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.”

These six habits are not litmus tests that you can use to judge a man’s walk with Christ. That would be extremely dangerous. These habits do nothing to improve a man’s record with Jesus.

They are, however, indicators or “clues” of a deeper commitment to live by faith and make a difference in the world. These aren’t the only six habits that reveal the depth of a man’s walk with Christ. Nevertheless, those of us who are leaders would do well to practice, and encourage our men to practice, these six habits. The change of heart these often represent can change the course of a man’s life and family lineage for generations to come.

Habit #1:Spiritually happy men read the Bible regularly.
They love God’s word, and want to regularly read and meditate on the Bible. I’ve never known a single man whose life has changed in any significant way apart from the regular study of God’s Word.

IDEA:Why not read through the Bible over the next year! Buy a One Year Bible or use the One Year Bible reading plan with your existing Bible. Go to www.oneyearbibleonline.com.

Habit #2:Spiritually happy men pray with their wives.
Praying with your wife symbolizes a depth of relationship with God and each other. Shaun from Bozeman, Montana asked his men’s group, “How many of you pray with your wives?” Only one of the eight men answered, “Yes.” For the last year they have been holding each other accountable. Here’s what Shaun has to say….
The benefits when we are obedient in this area are amazing. Here are some comments from the men when they pray with their wives on a consistent basis:

I feel a closeness to my wife that wasn't there before
Communication between us is better
The petty things are just not a big deal anymore

And I'll tell you this, it's pretty hard to be upset with your wife or to be arguing and still come before God with a clean heart. It forces us to communicate and humble ourselves before each other before we do something as intimate as praying together. It just permeates thru the rest of your family, and day.

IDEA:Ask your wife if you can take two or three minutes each day, maybe before work, for (a) praising and thanking God, (b) intervention, and (c) intercession.

Habit #3:Spiritually happy men are in a small group.
Consultant Pat MacMillan surveyed over 2,500 Promise Keepers who had kept their promises. He asked them, "Who helped you keep them?" The two overwhelming answers given were, "My wife" and "My church-based small group." Focus on getting men into small groups.

Spiritually happy men are personally vulnerable and seek to be held accountable by other men. This group might be with a few men, or only one other man. It might meet for Bible study, discussion, fellowship, prayer, accountability, or a combination.

IDEAS:Get together a weekly group of six to eight men, watch the Man in the Mirror Bible Study webcasts and discuss the printable questions. Also, order some free Accountability cards and help keep each other on track by calling Man in the Mirror at (800) 929-2536 (800) 929-2536

Habit #4:Spiritually happy men are active in a church.

1. Who is going to visit you in the hospital when you’re sick?

2. Who is going to baptize your children?

3. Who is going to teach your children about the Bible?

4. Who is going to marry your children?

5. Who is going to bury your dead?

6. Who is going to serve you communion?

7. Who is going to preach God’s Word to you?

8. Who is going to create a regular worship experience for you?

9. Who is going to faithfully administrate your tithes and offerings?

10. Who is going to give you opportunities to serve the church body?

I’ll stop at 10 and skip evangelism training, Sunday school, softball leagues, parent/child events, conferences, retreats, mission trips, fellowship dinners, and the countless church sponsored hospitals, schools, universities, soup kitchens, homeless shelters, pregnancy counseling centers, and jail ministries. You get the idea.

Active church involvement is the overflow of a deeper work that Christ is doing in a man’s heart. “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25).

IDEAS: If you are not in a church, find one. If you are not active in your church, set an appointment with your pastor and say, “Give me an assignment…I’m ready.” He will know what to do next.

Habit #5:Spiritually happy men tithe.
Generosity is a highly underrated source of happiness. I’ve never known a man who tithed who was not happy. On the other hand, I’ve known a lot of guys who have not tithed and were miserable.

Someone may argue that tithing is not New Testament. I agree that the New Testament concept is proportionate giving: “On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income” (1 Corinthians 16:2). But wait! The Old Testament also says give in proportion: “Each of you must bring a gift in proportion to the way the LORD your God has blessed you” (Deuteronomy 16:17). Both Old and New Testament suggest proportionate giving!

So what is the “benchmark” for proportionate giving? What does the New Testament say? In Matthew 23:23 Jesus said, “For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest part of your income, but you ignore the important things of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but you should not leave undone the more important things.” Tithing is our benchmark and, by the way, it’s the minimum—but I wouldn’t push that too far.

IDEAS: Give in proportion to what you make. Establish a benchmark. Let ten percent be the minimum. Optional: Consider a setting a maximum income above which you give everything else away.

Habit #6:Spiritually happy men are serving the Lord.
Personally, I would rather die for a worthy cause than live for no reason. And I think most men feel the same way.

Once a man has been in the real presence of Jesus, he will never be happy until he finds a way to express his gratitude through love and good deeds. Brother Lawrence put it this way, “I tell you that this sweet and loving gaze of God insensibly kindles a divine fire in the soul which is set ablaze so ardently with the love of God that one is obliged to perform exterior acts to moderate it.”

Do you have a passion that your life will make a difference in the world? Are you pursuing a life of significance? View everything as serving the Lord.

IDEAS: Start a men’s small group or, better yet, a men’s ministry in your church. Arrange a Saturday morning tour of a local ministry that serves the poor. Plan a mission trip for your men. Conduct a class that trains men how to lead men to Christ.

Conclusion
Remember, we’re trying to practice Christianity, not voodoo. We simply cannot make a requirement out of anything the Bible does not specifically command or prohibit. So these six habits are recommendations, not commandments. It’s fine for us to have a strong personal conviction about one or more of these habits, just don’t make it a litmus test for someone else (see Romans 14:5, 10).

Special Tribute to Mothers

2011-05-07T01:19:00.001+08:00

This was written and read out by Kao Chee Ming during celebrations on Mother's Day.

Our Amazing Isteri’s

Mother’s Day 8/5/2011

Women, women, women… Oh.... they're such wonderful mystery

She‟s our granny, mommy or isteri, Oh,... what an amazing trinity.

===èThank God for creating one for each man, and one for me.

( About chores at home )

When I arise from bed, she'd have fed and sent my son to school and done the laundry. When I return home & lay on the bed, she's in the kitchen preparing for the next day.

===è What amazing tenacity !

Between my rising and laying down my head on the bed,

You‟d have gone to the market, Carrefour, cooked, chauffered him to tuition & school, And yet some hubbies…. think wife-y‟s do nothing, so easy & lazy.

I have one office job, but you have so many. And you face more school traffic jams &

driven further, than me to my office. ===è What amazing capabilities !

( Amazing Trinity / Multi-tasking )

My son's mommy, my isteri and companion bini..

My son's tutor, my home-maker and „producer‟ of my baby

My cleaner, my launderer and my tukang masak nasi.

More wonderful than 3-in-one instant coffee… ===è What an amazing trinity !.

( She & our Food / Meals )

When you go cuti or to women's camp

We hubbies struggle how to cook the chicken, the beef and the lamb Then the vegie vegie vegie, …cabbage with hae bee, ….kai lan with cili, Then masak nasi lagi, ………..if not just simply ….. Maggi mee

If like this tiap tiap hari,..………I “chai see”, if not, …I go crazy

===è So I thank God for you, my wife-y, how you conjure so many dishes magically,

===è For your uncanny ability.. To think, to beli, masak and cuci

( She & her recreation time )

"Loi Yan, loi yan, loi yan …… Lei hai tuck keh" ( Cantonese song )

Nowadays you have washing machine, m/waves + Astro TV… but still busy, busy, busy

“Astro Wah Lai Toi” – now sounds more like … “Wah Lau, you also toil”. By the time you switch on the TV … We ask „why you so free‟ ! ?

Better go make some coffee...===è Now, we want to say so sorry... J

( Exaltation )

So you men, appreciate the woman next to you,... if she's your wife-y. You women, tell him not to worry.... if he's been a good hubby

I salute you and thank God for creating women,.. One for each men, and one for me.

Women, women, women / Loi yan, loi yan, loi yan / Mommy, isteri and bini

===è You are a “moh tak ting” mystery, we hubbies salute thee

--- end . J . kao ---

Fathers Club Meeting

2011-04-07T10:44:00.001+08:00

Fathers Club Monthly Meeting

on "The Quest for Authentic Manhood"

this Saturday, 30 April 2011, 8:30-11:30 am

FACING THE FATHER WOUND

This session is about how we pick up and carry our

baggages from the wounds afflicted by our fathers.

How do we resolve this issue in discovering our

manhood? How do we forgive our fathers?

Hall 3

(Simple Breakfast at 8:15 am)

IMPORTANT NOTICE ON PARKING THIS SATURDAY

Please park outside along the road since you will be the earliest to church and there will

ample parking spaces outside. Reason being there will be a fairly big wedding on Sat morning,

and certain area of parking within DC compound will be blocked off in preparation for

Sun afternoon’s largest wedding in DUMC. J

Thank you for your cooperation.

How Does a Father Do It?

2011-03-28T21:58:00.000+08:00

Finding the right balance between the work place and home front can be a guilt trip, but it doesn't have to be that way. Look over the list of possible improvements you can make in the way you balance career and family. But instead of viewing this as one more long list of things to do, imagine yourself already doing something on the list. The mind doesn't distinguish between imagined and real success when it draws upon positive experiences, even imaginary ones, to reinforce good habits-in-the-making. Try imagining yourself combining work and family life in the ways listed below.

- Keep it simple. It is doesn't add to the happiness of your family, then change it.

- Set aside time after dinner to help your kids with their homework.

- Remember what you were like as a kid, and cut some slack for your kids. Keep important things in focus: family unity, values, fun and education.

- Listen at all times: to mealtime stories, to the chatter over dishwashing, to bedtime prayers.

- Create family rituals: Saturday morning pancakes, Sunday night pizza, Monday night health club, Thursday night piano recital.

- Include children in your planning and decision-making regarding things like weekly chore assignments, summer vacation plans and special monthly events.

- Hold family councils once a month to discuss pet peeves, rules, rewards and punishments.

- Be both loving and firm in setting, negotiating and enforcing rules.

- Let the answering machine take calls during the dinner hour and at bedtime. Or, take the phone off the hook.

- Loves isn't something you buy. Your kids spell it T-I-M-E and it costs more than M-O-N-E-Y.

- It's better to play 15 or 20 minutes spontaneously and have fun, then go do chores, work or other priorities, than to spend all day at the zoo (or ballgame or the mall) feeling angry, guilty, or worried.

- Find one common mission or cause that your family loves to do together, instead of splintering your volunteer activities in several different directions.

This partial list was gleaned from "How Does a Mother Do It?" That's the title of a brochure published by Mars Candy that compiles tips for Working Mother of the Year. We've adapted it. More importantly, what do you believe--and do-

-about this delicate balancing act?

James Dobson, On the Father Front, Spring, 1994, p. 2.

Fathers Club Book Study

2011-03-11T12:57:00.002+08:00

Fathers Club Book Study

on "7 Secrets of Effective Fathers"

this Sunday, 27 Mar 2011, 7:45-9:45 am

Session 3

Room 201

(Take the stairs next to Dream Cafe and

go right up to second floor)

Your homework before you come:

Complete your reading of Chapter 5
Report on your survey with your family
Report on the time slot for father-child time

What's On in 2011?

2011-01-12T11:26:00.005+08:00

Blessed New Year! It is going to be a BETTER year, for those of us who attended our Watchnight celebration in DUMC would know this.

You can download the activities for this year in the Announcement Section on the right. All the topics to be covered can be found in this announcement sheet.

Two urgent things to take note of:

1. Our first monthly Fathers Club (FC) meeting on 29 Jan 2011, Sat. Please register so that I can get a headcount to make sure I get the right room.

2. I will be starting again the Book Study on "The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers" for which quite a few of you said you were unable to attend the Monday night sessions last year. This time, it will be on Sunday mornings.

Again, please register so that I know how many are interested and whether I should carry on with this run.

Please forward this link to the fathers and men that you know. Remember, we are fighting a battle to restore men to their rightful place as godly and authentic fathers, husbands and men.

Click here for 2011 Program.

Love Languages - Profiling Tool

2010-12-05T01:23:00.004+08:00

Fathers,

I mentioned love languages in the way we interact with our wives. Here's the assessment that you can do to improve the way you can show or demonstrate your love in the way your partner appreciates.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

Our 5 love languages are:

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

You should do the one on "For Husbands" and your wife on "For Wives".

When you answer the questions, you should pick the answer in the way that you would like to receive love, not what's been done now.

With the results, you can talk to each other about whether you have been using the love language in the way that is appreciated. Give it a go :)

Email me if you need help.

Testimony - Father and Daughter Time

2010-11-27T02:18:00.000+08:00

When I first heard about the father-and-child time, I was excited. I was excited because I know this is something I had wanted to do with my daughter for quite some time now. My daughter is turning 6 this year. I remembered reading a parenting article some years back which says that for a child, quality time is spelt as “quantity”. I couldn’t agree more to this statement and it had caused me to rethink about the definition of the quality time for my daughter since then. As much as the quality time is important for my daughter, the consistent and regular time spent with her is equally important to her too. After I signed up for the Fathers Club and attended the first two meetings, I am convinced through Pr. Chris and other fathers’ sharing that I needed to have a consistent and regular time with my daughter.

Being a typical man, my usual first response to solving a problem is to first find the solution “myself” and then only present it to my wife and daughter for acceptance and feedback. Little did I know that I was stuck as I couldn’t seem to figure out a weekly time to spend between me and my daughter! This troubled me for a few days without any solutions.

Because I was determined to have the father-and-daughter time, I decided that I needed help from my wife and daughter. In one family dinner time together, I explained to them that I had been trying to figure out this father-and-child time thingy without much success. To my surprise, just within a few minutes into our discussion, my wife had proposed a weekly timeslot that seemed workable for all of us and without much hesitation I happily accepted it. The thing that amazed me was that what I couldn’t quite figure myself for the last few days was able to resolve within a few minutes with the help from my family!

My first lesson learnt from this experience is that I must involve my family especially my wife when solving family issues although some of them may seem trivial to me.

Later that night after dinner, both my daughter and I decided that we should brainstorm about the things or activities that we can do together during the father-and-daughter time. To show my commitment to her, I took out one new writing notepad and told her that I would write down these ideas on it. Besides, to make it more personal to her I named our father-and-daughter time to Daddy-and-Enxi time and wrote it down as the title to our activity list. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that we managed to come out with close to 10 activities in that night. Guess what, quite a number of these ideas were contributed by my wife (lesson #1). My daughter was equally excited about this process. She took out one of her writing notepads and started to copy the list of activities from my notepad. I think she was trying to tell me that she has a part to play to develop the list and share the ownership of the list – rightly so.

Second lesson learnt: Showing commitment to my action either verbally (telling her about the Daddy-and-Enxi time) or visually (writing the ideas in a notepad) is important to my daughter. It shows my commitment to her about our time and at the same time excites her to do the same.

I know this is just the beginning. Having read the Secret 3 on Consistency of The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers by Ken R. Canfield, I am reminded the key to success to our father-and-daughter time is to ensure regularity and predictability on my time with my daughter. Up till now, my daughter and I were able to spend time doing some of these activities during our Daddy-and-Enxi time and we had also added new activities to our list. In every week, I can tell from her look that she looks forward to this time as much as I do to spend the quantity and quality time with her. Cheers.

Teoh Sing Peng

Wife: Teoh Chiew Chuan

Daughter: Enxi

The Desperately Trying-To-Be Effective Dads

2010-11-17T12:56:00.006+08:00

This photo was taken on the last session of our classes.
Those who were absent, we would need to photo-shop you in :)
You can download a higher resolution photo (186 KB) here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/-EePMMtVBVSO4HcObfsfLg?feat=directlink
If you need an even higher resolution (1.8 MB) photo, email me.

And now for the Testimonies! Graduation of 1st Batch.

2010-11-12T19:48:00.000+08:00

We have just concluded our 7 weeks for classes for "The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers" and 7 weeks of small group activities, which we call the Mentoring and Accountability Group (MAG).

I have asked you to write your reflection as a testimony of how you have grown as a father over the last 14 weeks. I am overwhelmed reading your testimonies, which I will post on this blog with your permission. I rejoice with you that your relationship with your wife and children have grown deeper and that you are diligent in wanting to see change in your own life. I am overwhelmed also because I had only wanted to start small and what I am hearing is far far more than I expect. For which I can only conclude that it is God’s work. Can you now imagine with me what other fathers would do when they hear what’s happening? Only an ignorant father could not care less about the testimonies of these men. Our families are at stake here!

Thank you for being such an encouragement! I urge you to write and encourage everyone if you have not done so.

We have just read in our journalling from 1 Thess 1:2-3 and this is how I felt when I read your testimonies:

² We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. ³ We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Let me just share some thoughts here:

I am thankful for each of you and it is my prayer that the fruit of your fathering will abound more and more.

Therefore our fathering must be centred on three things: Faith, Love and Hope.

1. Faith – our work must be produced by faith. We must have faith to believe that God is the Author and Perfecter of our fathering. Faith also means that in our fathering, God must be in the centre of what we are doing, because He is the perfect Father. We must therefore grow deeper in love with our Heavenly Father more each day. This is a non-negotiable and we must continually watch out lest we fall. And we get other men in our lives to watch out for us too. We should never be alone in this journey of faith but to walk together with other men in the Body of Christ.

2. Love – our labor must be prompted by love. Not a selfish or self-centred kind of love. We are not doing this because we want others to notice how good we are as a father. We are not even doing it because we want to feel significant. We are doing this because we love our family too much to have them experienced the blessings of God less than what they deserved. Our wives and children need our best effort.

3. Hope – we endure and persevere because of our hope in the Lord Jesus Christ. We long for the day when we appear before Christ and to hear Him say: “Well done, good and faithful servant!” That would be the greatest joy. In fact in 1 Thess 2:19 For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? 20 Indeed, you are our glory and joy. What will be our hope, joy and crown some day? To see our family in heaven together. They will be our glory and joy!

Loving Mum

2010-10-16T02:34:00.000+08:00

I personally think Chapter 7 on "Loving Their Mother" is a tough one. Some of us may be confronted with the reality of the health of our marriage. This is a great time to take stock and if you did genuinely do the homework on rating your marriage together with your wife, you have already taken your marriage one notch up.

This is the exercise: Rate your relationship with your wife. (1[Bad] to 10[Great])

The chapter rightly states the matter:

In many marriages, the husband and father is more in love with his children than he is with his wife.

Meeting on 20 Sep - Secret 3 - Protecting and Providing

2010-09-23T00:11:00.000+08:00

What a great time we had!

Thanks for all the sharing! It is so great to hear stories of your journey.

For those who missed, here's the gist:

1. I shared the importance of the three roles fathers play as prophet, priest and king in the home.

Prophet - we hear from God and speaks prophetically into our family. We bring words of encouragement and build into their lives as we maintain a vital relationship with God.
Priest - we represent our family to God in prayer and petition. We started the time of meeting with prayers for our family. This is one thing we must continue to learn increasingly.
King - not the worldly idea of the kind of dictatorial kings we have today. Although God will ultimately be the absolute King over His Kingdom, in some sense fitting the phrase of a "dictatorial king", He is however a benevolent dictator. Kind of oxymoron statement in our understanding but because God is absolutely powerful, loving and just, He is able to be just that. Jesus has already set the perfect example of the servant leader, so I don't think we will misunderstand that term when applied to God.

These are important roles that we need to learn over time.

2. Next we break into our MAG (Mentoring and Accountability Group) to share in what ways we have grown as fathers. This meeting is the mid-way point of our 7 sessions together. Each group then has a chance to share in the meeting what was shared in the small group. (Men, please remember to type out what you have written and email it to me.)

In summary, this is what I gleaned from the sharing:

We have become more intentional with our children. We are making time for them but we also acknowledge that this is hard work.
We are listening more and less "preachy" towards them. Certainly our listening skill has improved.
There is greater self-awareness of who we are as fathers, especially after the evaluation exercise we did with our children. We have gained from their feedback and we have begun to change the way we father for the better.
Our children are interested in our involvement with Fathers Club. Some even reminded their fathers about the next meeting.
Because we are listening and engaging, our children are opening up more. What has changed? The fathers! Many of us acknowledged that our children are the "Yes, No, OK" communicator with us, most of the time a one-word answer from them when we try to converse. This has change especially after the fatherhood evaluation we did with them that started the communication going.
We have to learn to the say the very important phrase "I am sorry."

3. I shared with the fathers a powerful video about a 10-year old boy who became handicapped on one leg due to an accident and how mentoring and role modelling through a 72 year old man can bring much hope to the boy and his family. Today's chapter covers how as fathers, our role is to protect and part of it is our response to crises that happen in our family. See this video and you will be blessed. Can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsWY2WFml_I

The summary chapter notes is available for download as usual.

Meeting on 6 Sep - Secret 3 - Consistency

2010-09-18T23:25:00.002+08:00

I showed a video of Eminem's rap song "When I am Gone". The lyrics is here. I was introduced to Eminem, an American rapper, by my son Shaun who shared during one of our father-son talk about music. He told me he likes Eminem because he's honest and truthful about life. Interesting to hear that from him.

Fathers, our children appreciates it when we are upfront (honest and truthful about our life!)

Videos like this are popular among young people because they can identify with what the song writer is trying to communicate. This is a song clearly about absentee fathers. That may explains the popularity because many kids suffers from that!

Here's the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wYNFfgrXTI

"When I'm Gone"

[Introduction]
Yeah...
It's my life...
My own words I guess...

[Verse 1]
Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby...

[Chorus]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Verse 2]
I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These ___ walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on
And I'm singing...

[Chorus]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Verse 3]
Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..

[Chorus/Outro]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

The Fatherhood Journey

2010-09-01T14:23:00.001+08:00

This article was published in DUMC Floodgates (July-Aug 2010). This is the unedited version.

The FATHERHOOD Journey – to boldly go where no man has gone before.

I enjoyed preaching on Fathers’ Day. The enjoyment wasn’t just primarily that I am sharing about something I am passionate about, but seeing my twenty-year old son sharing his testimony (click on this link to hear him) about his relationship with me. There is no greater joy as a father than seeing him on stage sharing about the fruits of my relationship with him over the last twenty years. Hearing him said that I am his hero, friend and teacher was a proud moment for me. In fact from the way he “preached” through his three-point mini “sermon” with such confidence and in the way he engaged the congregation, I am quite sure some day, he will be a better preacher than me! And the funny thing about being a father is this: We will never be envious when our children do better than us. In fact, we rejoice when that happens. If we understand this principle, then we will begin to see the multiplying effect of our lives through our children.

It seems so long ago but I still remember that awesome but fearful experience of seeing him coming out of mum’s womb into this world. It dawned on me then that my life from that moment on will be changed forever. I am now entrusted with someone whom I have no idea how or what he will turn out to be in this challenging world. While we may be confident about taking on a new assignment at our workplace because we are adequately trained over time, fathering is something else. I had wished I was more prepared but being entrusted now with this tiny baby in my hand, I am reminded of Captain Kirk of starship Enterprise: “Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

The toughest thing about being dad is this. We will not know how we fare in our role until years later when they are on their own. Often we are more concern about our children’s behavior in their growing years and our interventions are reactive. Pro-active parenting is not the norm for many. We focus on what’s urgent rather than important. Urgent matters require our immediate attention but important matters are often relegated to another time, which is often unavailable anyway, or forgotten. Our ultimate goal in parenting is not whether our children will behave themselves when we are looking. It is when they know how to live rightly and making wise decisions when we are not looking. It's inculcating a godly fear of God in their lives and through that, they will have godly wisdom in life to make all of life's decision. (Psalm 111:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding.)

We often prepare our children well with “mind training”. The higher the IQ, the better they will be. The endless pursuit of academic trainings misses the point about heart and spiritual development. These are priceless preparation that comes only through much personal contact, coaching and attention from us fathers. Often we put high price tags on low price items and the consequences of that mistake will reveal itself in the later years. Many adults I had counseled reveal the pains of bad decisions. I wished they had certain basic biblical principles to work with and someone they could seek counsel from before they made those decisions. Fathers, we play a crucial role in the life of our children. Fathers build confidence, prepare children for the real world and provide a look at the world of men. Our children are thirsting for our words, echoing the words of our Heavenly Father to His Son Jesus: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." (Mark 1:11)

In the formative pre-adolescent years, mum’s input is vital. Dad’s most important influence is at adolescence. Before the industrial revolution of the 18^th century, fathers passed on their trade skills to their sons, and thus led the adolescent son into manhood through apprenticeship. Adolescent daughters are starved of their fathers’ affirmation that their princesses are beautiful and loved. Her choice of future partner and satisfaction in marriage are hinged on her relationship she had with her father.

Using the metaphor of an arrow in the hands of a warrior, the Psalmist described in Psalm 127 that children are blessings to keep our legacy going for the family, city and nation. They are arrows to be released and let’s pray they will hit their marks accurately. The family preserves the best of the past and invests this legacy for the future. Every baby born is God's affirmative vote for the future of man and our opportunity to initiate some new beginnings.

We have just launched our Fathers Club! (dumcfathersclub.blogspot.com). It’s a journey we need not walk alone. We have many who have boldly gone before us.

Understanding our Children - Matrix Sheet

2010-08-28T02:58:00.000+08:00

Dear fathers,

I have been very excited about your MAG (Mentoring & Accountability Group) meetings. Please continue to copy me your emails. The Monday group is particularly active and I have attached a sheet of their matrix which they design from the exercises in Chapter 4 on "Knowing your child". You can download this from the panel on the right hand side of the blog under "Book Summary Downloads". The matrix sheet will help you have an overall feel of how much you know your children. Feel free to use this in your group.

I am especially encouraged when I hear you sharing about your joys and struggles in being a father and best of all, praying for each other in your area of concerns. I have shared in the first session that the process is more important than trying to go through the book for the sake of the content. The process reminds us that there's no short-cuts in being a father. Discipline, perseverance and love for our family are our motivating factors.

I will continue to post some encouraging comments from your emails.

Pr Chris

Fathers Club Testimony - Jeffery Choy

2010-08-17T18:13:00.000+08:00

After attending the 1^st Fathers Club book study session on the 2^nd of August in DUMC, I realized that there are so many areas which I felt I need to improve in the way I father my children. During the session we studied on the 1^st Secret of an effective father, which is “Commitment”. Being a last minute decision, I had not really made the time to prepare and read the chapter before I went, which was suppose to be our homework. When we were deciding which group to join for our small group meeting (MAG – Mentoring and Accountability Group), I chose the Monday night group since my kids will be in tuition. This would be the most ideal time for me to commit to this alternate week group.

When I got back after the study session, I was sharing with my wife about how wonderful the Fathers Club book study has been and all the homework we had to do. I also told her about the survey that I need to do with her and my son (my daughter is too young, she’s only 6 years old).

We had planned for a weekend at Cameron Highlands the following weekend, to relax and also to spend time with my family and close friends. The trip to Cameron Highland was wonderful. We stayed at the OMF Bungalow and we had much fun playing board games such as Monopoly, Scrabble and Taboo with the kids.

When we got back on Sunday 8^th August, my wife and I were discussing with our son what he wanted to do on his birthday and where he wanted to go for his birthday dinner. We proposed a quiet dinner with just the 4 of us or he can invite some of his close friends home for dinner or have dinner with our close friends and their kids. My son was undecided but did comment that some of the proposals were not what he wanted. As we were discussing, it suddenly dawned on me that my son’s birthday dinner, which is on the 9^th August, clashed with the Monday night Fathers Club MAG group meeting. I blurted out that I had Fathers Club MAG group meeting and my wife immediately reminded me that she’s sure the members would understand that I had to spend time with my son on his birthday. The Lord immediately reminded me of the lesson we had on the 2^nd of August about “Commitment”. It was really a reminder of how easily I could be distracted with other commitments and putting my commitment to my wife and kids in 2^nd place. I decided to spend time with my son and family on his birthday as this is my commitment to him and my wife. We had a wonderful time and my son really enjoyed his birthday dinner and we also surprised him by inviting our close friends and their kids for the dinner (though he didn’t say it but insinuated his preference, when we made suggestions during the discussion)

I really thank God for sinking the lesson of commitment deeper into my heart and mind, and also the privilege of being able to practice it. I also thank God for my wife, who is there to remind and support me in my commitment to be an effective father. Praise the Lord!

A Touching Father Son Story

2010-08-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

Richard Yeo sent me this story. I have read it before. Thought you should if you have not.

Can I Buy an Hour of Your Time?
(Author Unknown)

A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated. He found his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
"Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure, what is it?" replied the man.
"Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?"
"What makes you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
"I just want to know . . . please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" pleaded the little boy.
"If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour."
"Oh...!" the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?"
The father was mad. "If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you better march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you're being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday and don't have time for such childish games."
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy's questioning. How dare he asks such questions only to get some money.
After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. "Are you asleep son?" he asked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man. "It's been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here's that $10.00 you asked for."
The little boy sat straight up, beaming. "Oh, thank you daddy," he yelled. Then reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man seeing that the boy already had money started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money then looked up at the man.
"Why did you want more money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.
"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. "Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?"

What a GREAT Start!

2010-08-03T19:01:00.003+08:00

A group of men met for the second time in DUMC Fathers Club last night. We started our first session of our book study on “The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers”. This is the first of 7 fortnightly studies that we will do together. A total of 66 men, including some single men, came together to want to learn to be better fathers! What an encouragement!

Not only are they committed to learn together, they will be meeting in small groups on another day after each session to keep each other accountable and encouraged. These are men who are prepared to be committed to their role as fathers. I feel the enthusiasm and passion of these men in the room as we pray for each other and listened to the heartbeat of our Heavenly Father.

What is even more soul-searching (with trepidation!) is the homework they are to do and it is to do an interview with their wives and children how they are faring so far as fathers. You can’t get any more serious than this because it takes a humble man to accept without question (but with clarification) any feedback he can get from the family to better himself.

Keep us in prayer! I really believe God is going to start a movement of godly fathers who will in turn learn to be spiritual fathers in the church. There will be stronger families when we as fathers get our act together and the best part is, we are doing it together.

Men, the feedback form in softcopy as requested on the download link.

Our First of a Series of 7 Studies

2010-07-27T19:33:00.000+08:00

Men,

I am looking forward to our first study this coming Monday (2 Aug 2010).

Your homework:

1. Give your child a hug everyday!

2. Find a time slot in your weekly calendar to set aside for your child.

3. Buy the book "7 Secrets of Effective Fathers" from Burning Bush in Dream Centre.

4. Read Chapter 1 - 3 and note down pertinent points of subject matter.

5. Complete the 7 Secrets Profile in Appendix F.

See you in Room 102 (next to Children's Church Hall 1), go up via stairs next to church office.

New Files

2010-07-23T14:56:00.000+08:00

Sorry guys about the file problem. Please download the new files in two versions (pdf and powerpoint 2003) and see if you still have a problem.

Fathers' Day 2010 Sermon Video Download

2010-07-19T21:23:00.000+08:00

If you are interested to get a video copy of my Fathers' Day sermon, with my son's (Ian) testimony, you can download it here, or through the link on the right of the webpage.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=I19OWK9T

This video sermon was used in a evangelistic mothers' group and created such an interest that they wanted a copy for their husbands. Feel free to use this to encourage better fathers!

What a power-packed meeting!

2010-07-19T21:06:00.004+08:00

Someone at the meeting commented to me: "Nothing like seeing 90+ fathers (including three single men) coming together with a common vision to be better fathers!"

For those who missed it, please note that we will be having our first of seven study sessions of the book "The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers" starting from 2 Aug 2010, all on Mondays, 8.30-10.30pm. Please purchase the book from Burning Bush in Dream Centre at RM 40.

Please download the document "Action Plan from 17th July 2010 meeting" on the right of the page. If you have not submitted your form to indicate your attendance to these studies, please email the completed form back to me.

Remember we have two assignments that you need to do and report when we get together on 2 Aug 2010.

You can view the photos of our meeting here:

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/ChrisKamTW/FathersClub?feat=directlink

Inaugural Meeting of DUMC Fathers Club - 17th July

2010-07-07T14:13:00.000+08:00

I am looking forward to the 17th of July, Saturday morning, 8.30 to 10.30 am.
Our very first Fathers Club Get Together. Let's be part of this historic event.

We will be having a quick bite between 8:00 - 8:30 am in the concourse and we will start on time in Hall 3.

Already up to 135 men, 9 of them singles, have indicated their interest through the registration form. Among them, they have 254 children and of course, 126 wives.

Guys, we are talking about making a deliberate difference in at least 380 people in the years to come, including ours.

Please start praying! Unless God builds the house, the builders labor in vain.

Psalm 127
A song of ascents. Of Solomon.
¹ Unless the LORD builds the house,
       its builders labor in vain.
       Unless the LORD watches over the city,
       the watchmen stand guard in vain. ² In vain you rise early
       and stay up late,
       toiling for food to eat—
       for he grants sleep to those he loves.
³ Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
       children a reward from him.
⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
       are sons born in one's youth.
⁵ Blessed is the man
       whose quiver is full of them.
       They will not be put to shame
       when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

My views in the news

2010-07-07T02:42:00.000+08:00

My views on fatherhood was published in The Star 5 July 2010. Have a read in case you miss it.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/7/5/focus/6607639&sec=focus

Wrote another one earlier here:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/3/9/focus/5818277&sec=focus

Moving forward

2010-06-24T18:47:00.000+08:00

A small group of like minded fathers (3 others + me) are meeting tonight at Kopitiam to dream some initial thoughts to Fathers Club. I was expecting maybe only a handful who may be serious enough to commit themselves to this when I preached last weekend. I thought if I can get 20 to 25 men who would do this, we can start small. But we are overwhelmed! Just over the weekend, as many as 105 men have indicated with the form that they are interested in Fathers Club. Out of this, 80 have indicated they will be at our first breakfast meeting and 86 indicated they will join the 7-session study group. Out of the 105, 8 are single men.

This is an overwhelming response and I pray it will translate into a movement of encouraging fathers to Mature, Mentor and Multiply their lives effectively for their families.

I have gotten someone to design a logo for DUMC Fathers Club to give us an identity.

Emails will be sent out to you on the logistics for the meeting. Please respond when you receive the email. My initial thought is to have a simple breakfast at 8 am, start the meeting at 8.30 am and finish by 10.30 am.

Further to that, here's a link to Loong's blog who did a summary of my sermon:

http://ahloong.blogspot.com/2010/06/fathers-day-special.html#more

Interestingly, I came across this book:

Ultimate Goal in Parenting

2010-06-21T11:32:00.000+08:00

Our ultimate goal in parenting is not whether our children will behave themselves when we are around. It is when they know how to live rightly and make wise decisions when we are not looking. It's inculcating a godly fear of God in their lives and through that godly wisdom they will have in life to make all of life's decision.

Psalm 111:10

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding.

A Question to Ask Everyday by Every Father

2010-06-19T01:11:00.000+08:00

Welcome to DUMC Fathers Club

2010-06-18T01:39:00.001+08:00

Dear fathers of DUMC,

Here's an initiative to encourage you as fathers. In an informal manner, I am starting a Fathers Club to help us grow in the area of effective fathering. We owe it to our children. We recognize the challenges in the world we are living in and we longer can say "When I was your age" because our world was not like theirs now when we were their age. There is no perfect father, only God is. Let's put our imperfection together with our perfect Father in heaven and that's a POWERFUL combination!

If there are fellow travelers, whether grandfathers, fathers or single men, who wants to be learners together, let's come together to encourage each other in this area. I am proposing we meet on the 17th of July, Saturday morning, from 8.30 to 10.30 am for breakfast and let's brainstorm how we can help each other.

I believe fundamental to parenting is the need to understand our God-given biblical role as fathers first. As a start, we can study this book together, The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers by Ken R. Canfield. I need to know how many are interested so that I can order the book in time for 17th July to be distributed to you. If you have not signed up for this, please email me.

A fellow father,

Pr Chris Kam

The 7 Secrets

Secret 1: Commitment

Secret 2: Knowing Your Child

Secret 3: Consistency

Secret 4: Protecting and Providing

Secret 5: Loving their Mother

Secret 6: Active Listening

Secret 7: Spiritual Equipping